it's really somethin', it's fearless

i dont think i'm going to be doing another post before i go camping so here's this one. I've decided anything and everything that comes to my mind i'm going to write down in a notebook i'm bringing. I'll have pages filled with thoughts, lyrics and doodles and i'm going to fill inbetween every line, every space, for this summer.Kind of like a diary but i wont care who reads it. I have this bag to go on my shoulder with my ipod a few pens and my notebook, whether i cant fall asleep,laying on a rock as the waves consume me, wherever i am i'll write and have that layed back look with a little bit of danger thrown in and be absent mindedly fearless, with the beach wave hair, just being anything but ordinary.
Me and my rose(mon amie) are going to ride up to camp, music blaring and we have a list of crazy things to do, we're even burning a c.d just to dance to on the beach late at night. We're going to have fun and this whole summer for me it's about letting go and
dancing in a storm in my best dress Fearless.

• It’s the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin’, it’s fearless

"You just... You need a girl.
What kind of girl?
Definitely someone cute.
- Definitely.-
someone who can make him laugh.[Laughs]
But he also needs someone who's gonna push him.
Someone who's gonna make him do things...
he never thought he could do.
Like stripping in the middle of the street?"

• im going to be that girl

i'll be your baby blue jeans

im not going to use stupid grammar in this post because thoughts are a mess(ok maybe i'll use periods) i put off this post for so long because im so screwed up. i just write pages of thoughts, lyrics, anything to just get me more than anything or anyone else. (this whole no grammar thing isnt going to work, maybe a few wrong or misplaced commas but i need this to scream!!) i guess before i go and try to figure out everything and everyone else i need to start with just me. you know what i love, to ride in a car with the top down hands in the air and just blasting the music late at night, theres no special twist about of explaining words to why...i gues maybe girls just wanna have fun

in the car is where i get my best thinking going and i finally think i get why i flat out suck with guys. Its because im afraid, of messing up, of letting someone see my imperfections i dont want to make any mistakes and i guess why i broke up with this one boy was because as much as i tried to prove i could kiss him i was scared to death of what he'd think. oh and the other reason was because he was a jerk unable to see that. But thats over with, i want a guy who will whisper "good morning beautiful" in the morning and take away all my fears of doing something wrong, cause face it i will. and so will he.

im not going to get caught up in wanting a guy, but just, i dont know everyone wonders

Is there a someone

for everyone

willing to be

your everything

(another something i thought up)

i dont really know what i want to say with all this.

For now, watch me unfold.

naked

did you ever want to go beyond your fingerprint streaked window pain, the scattered flowers, the pounding rain, the paint splattered sky, the world?... i didnt know where to put those song lyrics from last time so i kind of threw them into their own blog. But now i know, i'm out on the edge of forever ready to run. Im ready to see the edge and take off into the unknown. Not just trying to undress the world into a naked spinning ball of despair, im going to dress it in all my thoughts until the truth screams out. I want to see other planets, the universe, maybe a quick crispy chocolate chip cookie run to the milky way (tounge twister.) I want to take myself to the limit, to blood, sweat, tears, and ticking to explode...im going to push myself to be me, and im not going to be afraid.

• Im going to think out loud, go skinny dipping into the cool streaked water, go and find love...and keep it, how daring.


• Why do we cry, why do we give up, what makes us walk away, what makes us make stupid mistakes? "Nobody knows it but me" or maybe we're just human

This blog is just me writing down my thoughts, if someone can find something in these words thats good, but this is for me, its like being naked in front of a crowd...with only my thoughts wrapped around me.

"young people should not be taken lightly.
How do you know that they will not one day be better than you are now?"
this ones for the parents




p.s. i took that picture

the edge

"And I’m out on the edge of forever

Ready to run"

like thoughts like rain

Life is a wonderful and terrible thing

and noone comes out of it alive

so the people waiting on the world to change or undressing their naked thoughts to let themselves know theyre beginning to understand the raw truth of it all or the people so depressed their drowning in this "accident" or me...realize, open you eyes wide so the only thing that can make you shut them is the stinging sensation,

that glimpse of this spinning wreck is life.

you love it, you hate it, but it's all you've got.

add a melody, guitar solo, sprinkle it with a beat, the words are all the same...

(thoughts like rain splaterring down in my mind and this one slid down the window pain of my eye)

P.S. i love you

What do women want?

We have abosolutely no idea.

I get jealous easily. I wanted to be the one who was beginning to understand life, even me for that matter

"and you know a little more about... you.

A little bit more than anyone else does."

I want to look at the pouring rain and come up with a jumble of words to why walking in the rain with no purpose is just something we do...as if being soaked is when life as you know it ends.
Why do we take something simple and ordinary and strech it into something big, professing our love of it to everyone...because seeing it on paper, in a melody, shouting it out loud...makes it right, makes what we feel, more real?

You tell me...why does rain make everything feel so right.

"I don't want to make any mistakes.

Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a dog."

"terrible ideas hmmm, dont'cha just love those?"

"music is the beautiful disturber of air"

I kew i was going to have to write back sooner or later, i thought that by letting my thoughts run wild through my mind, there would be some simplicity to find to make sense of it all...but my thoughts are far from that until theyre out on paper.

"If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud"

(riding in the car, muisc blaring into the night sky, and this song switched on) Dont you feel that words seem lost until they get a *boom boom* beat, a sweet tasting, twisting melody and someone with the heart to sing them out loud for everyone to hear? I am naked before you right now, my thoughts are undressed onto this page, it's my own diary sceaming out loud...so what are you going to do about it? This blog is going to be dressed in random spiraling lyrics, just so that tune can be played and maybe you will sing out loud.

"I think that i think too hard

And i don't give enough credit to my heart"

Why don't we throw all of our thoughts to the surrounding wind, so we can hear the beat of our heart. the music...because that is what we understand. You don't have to be able to read music, i don't...i just pick up a guitar strum away...play a piano and let my fingers dance, my voice singing to the beat of all this as if noone is there and everyone is there at the same time.

"Sittin' here i'm thinkin' bout the weather and

The countryside around me

Simple little things like these are good to keep

My silly mind from wondering

I feel the summer breeze wash over me

Oh i know the laughter know the love"

Hmm..now this may get me started on simplicity all over again...the extraordinary things are the most simple, a bumble bee seeming too big to fly, takes flight to the blinding sun, the summer breeze lifting up your dress as it twirls around you, the country side, a single open field laying down scattered in flowers listening to you softly hum a melody overwhelming your sesnes, sweet and tinted sour lemonade kissing your lips as you walk, cup in hand, to the end of the world.

i'm a silly girl

dancing in the rain
bobbing my head, top down

music blowing in a trail we leave behind

running through an open field

my feet pouding to a beat

rowing through a lake, my hand gliding

making a splashing current

writing thoughts on paper,black on white,

simplicitiy is sweet love

i am a silly little girl

soaked from the rain

(thoughts on paper thought)

make your own melody, to the beat of my song

The quote i'll end with, the last buzzing note...yea you guessed it, a song...

"When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part"

-John mayer

"Dreaming With A Broken Heart"