i've been feeling trapped.
i guess in a less philosophical way than you were expecting.
i think i'm failing math, everything with school is holding me back.
if i don't pass...than i can't have a summer.
everything is pouring down on me like gasoline...drenching me with fumes that consume my every sense.
school has to be everything right now..always in the back of our minds...another test around the corner.
drop the match and i'm ignited
i'm burning under the pressure
i think that word "ignited" can have many reasons...(word of the week i guess)
right now...it helps explain what it feels like to be burning under a fire.(school)
we all look for summer to be anything, to do something the rest of the year couldn't
i just hope when the fire burns out..amongst the ashes, tattered and black...is my summer.

Ignited

my eyes adjust from the sunlight outside and that's what it's going to be like when i first see you.

drops of jupiter

stop looking for reasons everyone. see what's right in front of you.

Go to my playlist on the left side, and turn the song to "drops of jupiter" by:train

and listen for once.

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere

With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey, hey, hey

She acts like summer and walks like rain

Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey, hey, hey

Since the return from her stay on the moon

She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey, hey, hey

hey, hey, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun

Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star

One without a permanent scar

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation

Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey, heymmmm.....

She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo

Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey, hey, hey

yea...

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane

Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet

Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day

And head back to the milky way

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind

Was it everything you wanted to find

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken

Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone

Conversation

The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet

Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day

And head back toward the milky way

Tell me did you sail across the sun

Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star

One without a permanent scar

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day

nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nah nah nah nah nah

And did you fall for a shooting star

Fall for a shooting star

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Are you loney looking for yourself out there

(the spacing got all messed up, but just think about the song, let it get stuck in your head)

bulletproof

i'm going to try something. writing really late at night and seeing what i think of it in the morning, then i'll post it. maybe even add more to it once i'm awake. why does the truth come out at night; it is pitch black. does darkness seem to take in all your secrets like a black hole, so it seems safe to say them outloud? telling the boy now, all the thoughts that were racing through your head in daylight...but now your brain is slow, blinking, heavy breathing, simple things...the words seem so easy now to say. it's a hard concept..but just think, wherever you are, late at night..at a moldy hotel 6 backed up against the wall on a bed, laying outside under the stars, or just sitting at your computer typing mindlessly, you can say whatever you want and think about everything because your tired, your brain is in a transe...on the verge of sleeping, breathe in and out. once you can let your body go, your mind follows fearless. like a monster in a closet, it only comes out when the sun goes down.
i've noticed lately that i can't shut up. my mom tells me to do something and i have to say what i think...she won't listen, even if i yell, i just need to be heard. how can i be passive about some things and then want to scream out loud at other things? all i know is my "attitude" seems to be getting me in trouble. maybe i'm tired of just listening. so i just keep on talking.

• crossroads
• broken glass
• sweet perfume
• words that seem to work
  
  why does the moon shine night and day, but the sun sets? don't go scientific..just why is the moon up in daylight...something that glows at night hearing all your secrets..is still faintly there in daylight, when you wake up.

blah.bed.for now.short and sweet.never would have thought i could be that way.2nd post i said i was never short and sweet.

now that i look back on everything i wrote, something has changed

goodnight

good morning...i guess i was pretty awake, or sane last night..because nothing i wrote seems too "out there"..but maybe night or day, my thoughts are still the same..i care how i say them and want them out there naked.(used to use that word ''naked" and "undressing my thoughts" a lot) maybe i should let go more, not care..and let the true monster come out of the closet.

i guess why i have the title "bulletproof" is it just seems like a cool word, and the meaning might be that sometimes we feel like nothing can stop us, or maybe being bulletproof is like taking a bullet but not letting it brake you. I took a chance, I took a shot And you might think i'm bulletproof, but i'm not. and sometimes the shot kills you.

i dont really like this post, the words are off, the stupid bullets make it double spaced when i hit enter..but whatever for once i'm not going to care if what i say is typed the right way.so here i go, publish post.

i guess titles are meant to draw the reader in...

why do people argue. always having to prove themselves right. why do people fall out of love? crumple up a piece of paper with mindless..unfinished thoughts and it's round like the world with rough edges but it seems pointless and soon enough it'll get thrown away.

when is the world going to end. how can you believe in God when nothing has proven to be a constant. when you have so many questions that go unaswered.

our eyes are just a burden. we need to see to believe.

it's hard to trust, because people are made to let you down. it's in their nature, we can't help it.

everything seems to go be going wrong.

what can you hold on to, to ground yourself...

because right now you feel like your spinning with the world.

and honestly, i want to throw up.

you look to the sky for answers, cry for the boy who will never understand what he did.

why do we try and fix lost causes?

what happens if the world spun backwords.

why can't we let people see us cry?

i wrote a song the other day, and started a book.

maybe escaping this for a little while will fool my mind

sometimes all you need is bare words to speak the truth...

What happens to a man when He spills his heart on a page and He watches words flow away then His feelings lie on the page alone There waiting For someone who cares to read them To open their eyes to see them To see if they can make his thoughts their own To find out that maybe your life's not perfect Maybe it's not worth what he gives away

and the melody will make it stick in your mind.

the song up there is called "pages" by 3 doors down.

i looked up the lyrics and didnt hear it yet.

why do we ask questions?

you dont want the expected answer
you like it when u dont know what their going to think or say
that's why we ask questions
half of it..for the thrill of the answer

the last of anything is always the hardest.

goodbyes shouldnt be spoken.

i didn't even want to write this blog.

the words kind of just s p i l l e d out.

messy words

aren't meant to be cleaned up

emily

who else did you expect?

and the reason is you

so apparently i was wrong about writing everyday, i guess i have so many thoughts... as far as they get is me saying them under my breath. I did have a post before, but none of it is true anymore, i thought i didnt like it so i made it a draft;unfinished thoughts. The only thing that seems to be true is how screwed up i am over this one boy..and please dont be the there-are-better-things-to-take-over-your-thoughts-besides-a-boy-and-maybe-you-should-just-forget-about-him- person because getting over it isn't an option for me. i'm stealing this from a friends profile because it jumped out at me...I close my eyes and the flashback starts. That's what keeps me going or falling...hard.

When i hit that bottom crash you're all i have

I was sitting in a dark corner, with some weird artificial tree branching over me, i didn't care that it was cramped, it was dark and noone could find me. The moon was dim and a perfect backdrop. I just pulled my feet up to my chest and let my ipod fade in and out. I thought about everything...why is it that wherever i am i think about you?

I just want to talk to you, i need to do something.

you need to say something.

Every rain makes its way into somebody's song

But i still love

i'm all in

emily

talking to the rain

ok i know i'm going to be posting a lot more because i get what i need to say from a single bus ride. With my headphones on and the bus just riding along with trees passing just makes it perfect. All i need right then and there is my music and the road even if it is a beat up school bus. Moments blurred into focus like just realizing as i was tapping my fingers to the music, the sun streamed in right onto my hand and bright pink nail polish, was the perfect moment for a picture, i think atleast. Everything just seemed right then and there, it's still summer and there was a gorgeous breeze, my hair was wispy and blowing onto my eyes like any movie moment, a new song predictably came and went, the bus got emptier and emptier because i am one of the last ones off, it was me and my thoughts strumming to a guitar...it's hard to explain because it's little moments pieced together when i realized music on the road is just right. I kinda realized i look at things as the perfect movie moment, a picture captured just right, the perfect sentence for a blog, or just the right thought to go on paper. Paper is what i never leave the house without, a post-it note, composition notebook, journal, hand outs in school when we're taking notes, an old crumpled napkin
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin And I wrote down our song

It's like an obsession but atleast its not illegal.
I am bright nail polish,pouring rain, a single star, a starry night, waves crashing, out of breath, soft breathers, speechless moments,song writer, night sneak outs, morning sunrise, broken glass, broken hearts, wishing, my playlist,crushing on him,open fields, moonlit water,naked, on the road, music.
I know that i can't wait for my licence because i will just drive to the end of the world. dirt road, blaring music every turn with me at the wheel. Plus with a friend it makes it that much more awesome.
I've been driving for an hour Just talking to the rain.

as i walked into the house when i got home, i lowered my music so it was softly playing for only me to hear, like background music or the soundtrack to my life.i thought that was cool<3

for those of you who want to stop crushing, here is a little snipet from"out of my face" by saving abel
So get out of my face
Get out of my sight
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind

(and suprisingly going back to school doesn't kill you)
-em
p.s. i stole the pic from C α я ℓ у ♥ on poly<3