naked

did you ever want to go beyond your fingerprint streaked window pain, the scattered flowers, the pounding rain, the paint splattered sky, the world?... i didnt know where to put those song lyrics from last time so i kind of threw them into their own blog. But now i know, i'm out on the edge of forever ready to run. Im ready to see the edge and take off into the unknown. Not just trying to undress the world into a naked spinning ball of despair, im going to dress it in all my thoughts until the truth screams out. I want to see other planets, the universe, maybe a quick crispy chocolate chip cookie run to the milky way (tounge twister.) I want to take myself to the limit, to blood, sweat, tears, and ticking to explode...im going to push myself to be me, and im not going to be afraid.

• Im going to think out loud, go skinny dipping into the cool streaked water, go and find love...and keep it, how daring.


• Why do we cry, why do we give up, what makes us walk away, what makes us make stupid mistakes? "Nobody knows it but me" or maybe we're just human

This blog is just me writing down my thoughts, if someone can find something in these words thats good, but this is for me, its like being naked in front of a crowd...with only my thoughts wrapped around me.

"young people should not be taken lightly.
How do you know that they will not one day be better than you are now?"
this ones for the parents




p.s. i took that picture

the edge

"And I’m out on the edge of forever

Ready to run"

like thoughts like rain

Life is a wonderful and terrible thing

and noone comes out of it alive

so the people waiting on the world to change or undressing their naked thoughts to let themselves know theyre beginning to understand the raw truth of it all or the people so depressed their drowning in this "accident" or me...realize, open you eyes wide so the only thing that can make you shut them is the stinging sensation,

that glimpse of this spinning wreck is life.

you love it, you hate it, but it's all you've got.

add a melody, guitar solo, sprinkle it with a beat, the words are all the same...

(thoughts like rain splaterring down in my mind and this one slid down the window pain of my eye)

P.S. i love you

What do women want?

We have abosolutely no idea.

I get jealous easily. I wanted to be the one who was beginning to understand life, even me for that matter

"and you know a little more about... you.

A little bit more than anyone else does."

I want to look at the pouring rain and come up with a jumble of words to why walking in the rain with no purpose is just something we do...as if being soaked is when life as you know it ends.
Why do we take something simple and ordinary and strech it into something big, professing our love of it to everyone...because seeing it on paper, in a melody, shouting it out loud...makes it right, makes what we feel, more real?

You tell me...why does rain make everything feel so right.

"I don't want to make any mistakes.

Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a dog."

"terrible ideas hmmm, dont'cha just love those?"

"music is the beautiful disturber of air"

I kew i was going to have to write back sooner or later, i thought that by letting my thoughts run wild through my mind, there would be some simplicity to find to make sense of it all...but my thoughts are far from that until theyre out on paper.

"If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud"

(riding in the car, muisc blaring into the night sky, and this song switched on) Dont you feel that words seem lost until they get a *boom boom* beat, a sweet tasting, twisting melody and someone with the heart to sing them out loud for everyone to hear? I am naked before you right now, my thoughts are undressed onto this page, it's my own diary sceaming out loud...so what are you going to do about it? This blog is going to be dressed in random spiraling lyrics, just so that tune can be played and maybe you will sing out loud.

"I think that i think too hard

And i don't give enough credit to my heart"

Why don't we throw all of our thoughts to the surrounding wind, so we can hear the beat of our heart. the music...because that is what we understand. You don't have to be able to read music, i don't...i just pick up a guitar strum away...play a piano and let my fingers dance, my voice singing to the beat of all this as if noone is there and everyone is there at the same time.

"Sittin' here i'm thinkin' bout the weather and

The countryside around me

Simple little things like these are good to keep

My silly mind from wondering

I feel the summer breeze wash over me

Oh i know the laughter know the love"

Hmm..now this may get me started on simplicity all over again...the extraordinary things are the most simple, a bumble bee seeming too big to fly, takes flight to the blinding sun, the summer breeze lifting up your dress as it twirls around you, the country side, a single open field laying down scattered in flowers listening to you softly hum a melody overwhelming your sesnes, sweet and tinted sour lemonade kissing your lips as you walk, cup in hand, to the end of the world.

i'm a silly girl

dancing in the rain
bobbing my head, top down

music blowing in a trail we leave behind

running through an open field

my feet pouding to a beat

rowing through a lake, my hand gliding

making a splashing current

writing thoughts on paper,black on white,

simplicitiy is sweet love

i am a silly little girl

soaked from the rain

(thoughts on paper thought)

make your own melody, to the beat of my song

The quote i'll end with, the last buzzing note...yea you guessed it, a song...

"When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part"

-John mayer

"Dreaming With A Broken Heart"

"Where The Heart Is"

Little insight on me...i'm condescending, a hypocrite(hmm sounds like hippo) I change what i say and do so much because i speak before I think. I'm ignorant, but aren't we all? I'm scribbling this post down on paper with pen scatches, lying on the ground, crossing out words that are miswritten. We smudge unwanted inked truths...we need to speak...so i'm going to say everything that comes to my mind (hmm i'm letting my thoughts run wild...how daring.) NOW, I was thinking that i find simple pleasures, I stare in amazement as a dandelion ball of white puff slides across this page and tumbles over me. Black and white photos tantalize me with bare, raw truth sketched into the camera lense. I could go on about how i find the simplicities more remarkable than the worlds bold intentions... (simplicity is extraordinary...white paper thought.) I dont know why i started a blog it seems to be more of a jumble of thoughts...I guess to show people who want to listen and myself that everything... the whispers of the breeze, a splash of water spiraling into rings, whisteling a symphonic melody with the birds, sitting in a tree to grasp the tough skin, letting loose in an open field or a crowded room, throwing your thoughts into bliss and closing you eyes for one damn moment...is where I find peace and serenity in a world people forget is here.

.yellow post-it note quote:

"no matter what happens

keep your childhood innocence"

~"Under The Tuscan Sun"

what happened to the music where you danced to nothing (cool breeze thought)

-Tip: Writing on pavement acquires a blanket of some mismatched pattern<>

for future pen-on-paper bloggers

rain drops sliding down the window pain

I assure you this is going to be a short post (then again every breath we take something can change...so if you assume that me assuring things is going to make them turn out the way I said...you cant always trust what i say...because words are as gone as the breath or swipe of a pencil it took to declare them)...What that drag on mixed up statement (i do that alot...remember i just wanted to be able to put these rain pouring words to mean something to show that i'm understanding atleast one little part of the crazy world...), so what i meant by everything is to trust yourself, because words spoken or written or whatever you do with them string along lies...so my whole oprah lesson is to trust, but dont be blinded. See look at this one statement i tried to explain and i go on and on...i'm not short and sweet i use everything i have to get my thoughts out, because everyone needs atleast someone to understand them. The whole point of this post was to talk about rainy days. They aren't as bad as you think...the rain cleans, refreshes everything, and it's like a new start...written words smudge and problems whirl in a puddle (My words somehow wound up sounding like a poem, bare with me...)The simplicity in rain is being able to curl up in an awkward flannel pattern blanket, sip dark, sweet hot chocolate as the steam rises and kisses your face, getting lost in a book taking you through a sunny field laying on your back with the breeze being the only whistling sound of music, as the raindrops just slide down the window pain. Sometimes (topic change-reminder) i just happen upon quotes, or theyre like a post-it note stuck to my head...it's post-it note time and i'm not saying its not lyrics...because sometimes the best quotes lie inbetween a melody and a guitar solo...so here it is:

"I'm so

Damn curious to know

And there are too

Many unanswered questions

That we hold onto"

for now its gonna be "just me"

I thought for now i'd start with something simple ...me. I'm not really sure how this whole blog thing works, but then again there really isn't a sure way of doing anything. You kind of wing it...so thats what i'm going to do (and what i usually do when it comes to life.) But doesnt that make it a suprise? I have a friend who doesn't like suprises she wants to know what things will be without the whole unwrapping that ugly paper your friends managed to scrounge up for you birthday...but whats the fun in that, would you still live your life, live in the moment if you knew what it would all lead up too? I think my special bmark (thats blog mark, you know my speical twist to this...my own signature thing to do...beisdes making up words that are screaming with originality) will be writing down a quote from anything...one of my friends speaks out with song lyrics and another with random spanish words of wisdom (well just ordinary spanish, if you find wisdom with that..than my random babbling has made sense) Back to the beginning of this i was going to talk about simple ol' me. Except the thing is i enjoy simplicity like dancing in the rain, old black and white photos, swinging, walking to the end of the world, an old crickety italian house, planes (watching over everyone), the sweet taste of chocolate, how "summer came like cinnamon, so sweet", sunsets(i can't find my old font i was using..ha), being a dork, laying in a an open field and wathching the sky spin around me, being an absolute dork and clutz...i can go on because the beauty of life to me is surrounding youself in it and that includes living with who you are. I always want to speak and (i change topics a lot~little insight on me) just be heard with these waterfalls of words that just make sense and seems so extraordinary (hmm that has ordinary right in the name) I am not simple by far... but i just want to have what i say be understood and i'm not expectecting to understand the whole world...but as i find little understandings in it i feel like little by little i understand me. Perfect moments for me are sitting back in a seat on the bus, my headphones in and just wtahcing everything fly by to the beat of the music. Which reminds me, i came up with a quote just sitting there, so i grabbed some paper and wrote it out...tell me what you think "Our bodies live to a beat, therefore music is within all of us." This is getting very long and i know i drag things on..so i'll end it on a note of a quote(hehe a rhyme) "if we got everything we deserved, I wouldnt have you"..think about that.