our eyes are our biggest burden

I've been thinking a lot lately.

I think i will only talk about one thing, so i can have a constant in this post. So i won't lose what i'm trying to get across...

When we went camping, Mary and I talked a lot about L . o . v . e, and faith, but suprisingly love is easier to explain.

And one thing I said sort of stuck with her, and when she told me she thought more about it, it made me look deeper into it...

I told her she talks about Josh a lot and it's not a bad thing, but i'm just wondering if he is such a big part of her life, what am i missing?

I don't know how to put it into words what exactly i'm "missing", I guess you just have to see someone in love.

metaphor/analogy:

It's like without glasses, those blurs in the distance were all i could see. I didn't think i was missing anything, or there was anything at all to see. They were too far out of reach. The blurs were what i came to know.

But once i put those glasses on, things became clear, i see that the blurs are trees, and now i know what i've been missing.

Mary and Josh, you are my glasses.

Vienna

So i've decided this summer isn't what i was expecting, although it's never predictable. I wanted to work out this summer, go back to school feeling better about myself in many different ways...but i never took that leap.

California was amazing, i took in every surrounding.

But i want more.

"It's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two"

All of my friends had there whole summers planned out, at first that didn't seem very exciting. You know, knowing exactly what you're going to be doing everyday. I wanted each morning to be a suprise, i wanted to be daring.

"You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need"

Except now, you guessed it, i didn't take advantage of that. And now school is going to be here so soon and i don't feel prepared.

I don't want to give up the simple moments of long grass blowing in the field of my backyard, swimming in the pool lit by the moon, walking down to the only streetlight for miles in dresses, converse and cowboy boots, playing my guitar on the porch...all those simple things i did, together, they seem right.

I kind of convinced myself in this post that i am having a summer with even the few moments that make me smile.

so maybe my real problem is time...lack of it i mean.

Isn't it everyones?

If you're still following me after all of that, there's one last thought i'm going to type.

I'm going to lake george with mary for a week and i'm going to make it my everything.

Everything i didn't do up until now, i'm going to do in that week.

Not a lot of time, but i've got to get over that whole time issue sometime.

"Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true"

Have you ever thought of the world without clocks?

"Slow down, you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be

Before your time"

I'm off to sail into the sunset,

"When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?"

emily