do you ever realize how many times you hit the backspace on words that just dont seem to capture those unwritten words inside your head, but when you speak it's a whole different vulnerability vs. your diary. Because what ever is written down is what you wanted to say kind of "fixed up". So when you speak your even more naked in front of a crowd, your you, because your saying what is really on your mind instead of revising and "touching it up". Cause i know we all speak before we really think. I've realized each one of my blogs kind of has a different way of writing to it, i like it because i never want to be predictable...i dont want you to know what im going to say next, even if it's totally irrelevant or crazy because apparently a lot of people think i'm a freak...
and that is something that is starting to bug me, people defining me. you may think you know me, have it down to a science of who i am really but you dont, oh no you definitely dont, there's thoughts in my mind that no one knows, i am a stranger to you...because im just beginning.
i was thinking last night about taylor swift and just everything she has done, really living and rocking out, and just having fun. Or that girl on the new abc family show(my new defining title of my blog) she's pregnant but i cant help but think something amazing is going to happen with that..even if its just a show
i dont know if i should wait or go kiss that guy, sing in public, be the first to dance when the floor is open, lead my life absent mindedly fearless...
idk just thoughts im throwing around
this blog doesnt have to be finished thoughts, why can't it just be my mind's post it note?
summers simplicity on post it notes:
- being able to drive with no idea of where i'll end up, in a mustang, top down..hair blowing and my song rocking out behind me..just singing along in my best dress fearless
- laying in an open field, radio surrounding all my senses, an "I Heart?" written on the back of my hand, guitar in hand strumming along to "fearless"
- my foot dipped in the pond, laying streched out on the bridge, rain consuming my glistening skin, hair a mess, singing about 'your anything' for the boy i never met
- no clothes, just the water and me, with the moon kissing a shimmering light into the water, hair dripping wet, laying with my feet in the pool, humming softly until the sunrise harmonizes sweetly with me
i have so many thoughts, twisted into a blog, a journal, lyrics, post it notes scattered everywhere, just anything for everything i think
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