talking to the rain

ok i know i'm going to be posting a lot more because i get what i need to say from a single bus ride. With my headphones on and the bus just riding along with trees passing just makes it perfect. All i need right then and there is my music and the road even if it is a beat up school bus. Moments blurred into focus like just realizing as i was tapping my fingers to the music, the sun streamed in right onto my hand and bright pink nail polish, was the perfect moment for a picture, i think atleast. Everything just seemed right then and there, it's still summer and there was a gorgeous breeze, my hair was wispy and blowing onto my eyes like any movie moment, a new song predictably came and went, the bus got emptier and emptier because i am one of the last ones off, it was me and my thoughts strumming to a guitar...it's hard to explain because it's little moments pieced together when i realized music on the road is just right. I kinda realized i look at things as the perfect movie moment, a picture captured just right, the perfect sentence for a blog, or just the right thought to go on paper. Paper is what i never leave the house without, a post-it note, composition notebook, journal, hand outs in school when we're taking notes, an old crumpled napkin
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin And I wrote down our song

It's like an obsession but atleast its not illegal.
I am bright nail polish,pouring rain, a single star, a starry night, waves crashing, out of breath, soft breathers, speechless moments,song writer, night sneak outs, morning sunrise, broken glass, broken hearts, wishing, my playlist,crushing on him,open fields, moonlit water,naked, on the road, music.
I know that i can't wait for my licence because i will just drive to the end of the world. dirt road, blaring music every turn with me at the wheel. Plus with a friend it makes it that much more awesome.
I've been driving for an hour Just talking to the rain.

as i walked into the house when i got home, i lowered my music so it was softly playing for only me to hear, like background music or the soundtrack to my life.i thought that was cool<3

for those of you who want to stop crushing, here is a little snipet from"out of my face" by saving abel
So get out of my face
Get out of my sight
Get out of my head and give me back my piece of mind

(and suprisingly going back to school doesn't kill you)
-em
p.s. i stole the pic from C α я ℓ у ♥ on poly<3

You can only move as fast as,Who's in front of you

so i pretty much have nothing to write about. But i just need to write. Well ive never talked about my day, so i'll try that whole being a teenager drama. There was a garage sale going on at chez maison(no idea if thats right) But anyways i got to lay in a chair my feet dangling off the edge, sun was peeking through the clouds just enough to warm all your senses, the summer breeze making the wind chimes the perfect touch; God's music, and my pup sleeping on my lap. Kind of that "i love summer" moment. Then my mom talked to this girl, well woman...same sex anyways, but she knew this girl.grr woman, who had twin boys and one choked and died at a babysitters. The other twin is too young to know he has a twin, let alone a brother..but something will always be missing and he will just feel lost..its sad. And also my mom talked to her about these 5 really skinny horses, and the ASPCA cant do anything because they have a "no trespassing" sign..but they wont make it through winter without food..so i'm deffinetely calling again. I also went to the store and my mom and I bought over $200 worth of groceries...not eating before i go benefits me by getting tons of yummy snacks...but the only problem was if there is a camera in there, every action shot of me is pulling up the pants falling off my but. So anyone watching got a laugh, which is always good, it helps loose weight;) Now im hear listening to music (I didnt do only 3 three things today but those are the highlights...plus i climbed my favortie tree with a juice box..hard work) Anyways music gets me in a great mood, i dont care if i cant sing, i just love singing and dancing around, im a teenage girl so you have to expect that.

I kind of like the pointlessness to this post, so i'll do what most everyone does and leave you with lyrics

in my rocker mood music...: a little snipet from "breathe today" by:flyleaf

You try your hardest to perfect your explanations...

You lie until they've run out of questions

You can only move as fast as,

Who's in front of you,

And if you assume,

Just like them,

What good will it do,

So find out for yourself

So your ignorance,

Will stop bleeding through.

Only one thing

Big enough to fill the void thats inside of you

It's just a breath away.

You can breathe today

So many lies swirling,

All around you,

You're suffocating,

The empty shape in you,

Steals your breath,

You're suffocating.

Logic forces me to believe in this,

And I have learned to see,

And I can only say what I've seen and heard,
And only you can choose,

And every choice you make will effect you,

Suit your own self.

just a little something to rock too<3>

em

Simple little things like these are good to keep my silly mind from wondering

hmm what to write about. Well i'm hooked on romance movies. Like the notebook, or titanic, anything. you jump i jump, just being taken to the stars,because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday. Im not getting sucked into them it's just our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it. Now tell me you dont want that.

And even though its completely ridiculous i want a star named after me, have a summer love, and give up everything once upon a ship.

Ever heard of the saying, "If you want to hear God laugh tell Him your plans?"

Sing to me the song of the stars. Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. When it feels like my dreams are so far Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

short and sweet

<3em

wild hope

i dont really know why i'm posting, i guess cause no one has in a while so i thought i would be the first to update on "life" because everyone's blogs have become a lot more deep. So let's get this started. I have definetely realized how hard it is to write a song and make the music. I have this journal that i write down words that might be able to be a song...but right now it just seems to look black and white(i mean its black ink on white paper so to a literal level, yes its black and white, but the words are more than that, theyre twisted, theyre helpless snipets of some thoughts, but what more can you ask from a teenager?)

It's twisted

Messed up

And the more I think about it

It's crazy, but so what

so what we're all "messed up" in our heads we think we're getting a grasp on the whole life concept...but it's too unfathomable to put into words, or your stupid blog. Words are just proof that you are crazy, your thoughts on paper, theyre screwed up...and it's why so many people can't or won't believe in God is because he's not as simple as a word, yea we try to make it like that...we take ideas on life like this run-on sentence and have a gazillion words on that one subject of life..but taking every single word, belief, your entire life and others and making it into one "person" responsible, only one word, God...well that there dares everything you once thought.

can you do that? or am i merely wishing on wild hope

In the crazy world

Anything can happen

If you will it to

I'm just a hazy girl

Blurring all the edges

Only seeing blue

All i can taste is this moment

do you ever realize how many times you hit the backspace on words that just dont seem to capture those unwritten words inside your head, but when you speak it's a whole different vulnerability vs. your diary. Because what ever is written down is what you wanted to say kind of "fixed up". So when you speak your even more naked in front of a crowd, your you, because your saying what is really on your mind instead of revising and "touching it up". Cause i know we all speak before we really think.

I've realized each one of my blogs kind of has a different way of writing to it, i like it because i never want to be predictable...i dont want you to know what im going to say next, even if it's totally irrelevant or crazy because apparently a lot of people think i'm a freak...

and that is something that is starting to bug me, people defining me. you may think you know me, have it down to a science of who i am really but you dont, oh no you definitely dont, there's thoughts in my mind that no one knows, i am a stranger to you...because im just beginning.

i was thinking last night about taylor swift and just everything she has done, really living and rocking out, and just having fun. Or that girl on the new abc family show(my new defining title of my blog) she's pregnant but i cant help but think something amazing is going to happen with that..even if its just a show

i dont know if i should wait or go kiss that guy, sing in public, be the first to dance when the floor is open, lead my life absent mindedly fearless...

idk just thoughts im throwing around

this blog doesnt have to be finished thoughts, why can't it just be my mind's post it note?

summers simplicity on post it notes:

• being able to drive with no idea of where i'll end up, in a mustang, top down..hair blowing and my song rocking out behind me..just singing along in my best dress fearless
  
• laying in an open field, radio surrounding all my senses, an "I Heart?" written on the back of my hand, guitar in hand strumming along to "fearless"
  
• my foot dipped in the pond, laying streched out on the bridge, rain consuming my glistening skin, hair a mess, singing about 'your anything' for the boy i never met
  
• no clothes, just the water and me, with the moon kissing a shimmering light into the water, hair dripping wet, laying with my feet in the pool, humming softly until the sunrise harmonizes sweetly with me

i have so many thoughts, twisted into a blog, a journal, lyrics, post it notes scattered everywhere, just anything for everything i think

it's really somethin', it's fearless

i dont think i'm going to be doing another post before i go camping so here's this one. I've decided anything and everything that comes to my mind i'm going to write down in a notebook i'm bringing. I'll have pages filled with thoughts, lyrics and doodles and i'm going to fill inbetween every line, every space, for this summer.Kind of like a diary but i wont care who reads it. I have this bag to go on my shoulder with my ipod a few pens and my notebook, whether i cant fall asleep,laying on a rock as the waves consume me, wherever i am i'll write and have that layed back look with a little bit of danger thrown in and be absent mindedly fearless, with the beach wave hair, just being anything but ordinary.
Me and my rose(mon amie) are going to ride up to camp, music blaring and we have a list of crazy things to do, we're even burning a c.d just to dance to on the beach late at night. We're going to have fun and this whole summer for me it's about letting go and
dancing in a storm in my best dress Fearless.

• It’s the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin’, it’s fearless

"You just... You need a girl.
What kind of girl?
Definitely someone cute.
- Definitely.-
someone who can make him laugh.[Laughs]
But he also needs someone who's gonna push him.
Someone who's gonna make him do things...
he never thought he could do.
Like stripping in the middle of the street?"

• im going to be that girl

i'll be your baby blue jeans

im not going to use stupid grammar in this post because thoughts are a mess(ok maybe i'll use periods) i put off this post for so long because im so screwed up. i just write pages of thoughts, lyrics, anything to just get me more than anything or anyone else. (this whole no grammar thing isnt going to work, maybe a few wrong or misplaced commas but i need this to scream!!) i guess before i go and try to figure out everything and everyone else i need to start with just me. you know what i love, to ride in a car with the top down hands in the air and just blasting the music late at night, theres no special twist about of explaining words to why...i gues maybe girls just wanna have fun

in the car is where i get my best thinking going and i finally think i get why i flat out suck with guys. Its because im afraid, of messing up, of letting someone see my imperfections i dont want to make any mistakes and i guess why i broke up with this one boy was because as much as i tried to prove i could kiss him i was scared to death of what he'd think. oh and the other reason was because he was a jerk unable to see that. But thats over with, i want a guy who will whisper "good morning beautiful" in the morning and take away all my fears of doing something wrong, cause face it i will. and so will he.

im not going to get caught up in wanting a guy, but just, i dont know everyone wonders

Is there a someone

for everyone

willing to be

your everything

(another something i thought up)

i dont really know what i want to say with all this.

For now, watch me unfold.